Bella Goes Bananas
by MakaioRed
Summary: Bella feeds when she wasn't supposed to and as a result turns into an ape and attacks a small town. A distant relative to this story is "The Bella Grenade", because they end mostly the same way. It is technically a crossover with Mighty Joe Young, but Mighty Joe Young wasn't listed under the Movies category, and features the character Jill Young. Sorry.


Edward Cullen was a hunter. But tonight he was anything but. Tonight, under a carved velvet moon, he was rather ineffective, spending a plentiful amount of arrows on air instead of wildlife. He had neither brought about death nor any food for home.

In most cases Edward wasn't a bad shot, but this was a night in which interruptions were plentiful. Visions kept sweeping through his mind. And conveniently moments prior to launching arrows. All of them featured Bella, though, sometimes, others included a familiar blonde woman.

Edward saw a stag and raised his bow. 'This one for sure,' he thought. He pulled his arm back, his hand clenched on the bow string, he felt ready. But then the forest disappeared from reality, instead reality being replaced with solace in a church.

"Do you promise to love and cherish her?" Minister Webber asked. "To uphold and protect her. To never let her eat after midnight, get her wet or expose her to bright light."

Edward was eyeing the brunette beauty in front of him, in a dress laden with white. It was his and Bella's wedding day, he was thinking back to the vows he took. How could he ever forget that? They were incredibly odd, though not suspecting much of them, believing them to be the kind of vows expected to be taken by couples of mixed vampire/human unions.

A stern realisation flushed through the neurons in Edward's brain. His reality was of the forest once again. And from that moment he realised his attention was focused incorrectly.

Edward threw all of his attention onto the miniature sundial on his wrist, which was able to tell the time because of the moon light above, and it threw a horrible measurement back in return.

It was midnight.

"Shit, I've got to get back home," he exclaimed.

With speed, his legs pounded the mud and grass, home was not far from him at all. Their house was several hundred metres from a small town on the outskirts of the woods, with fields intersecting the forest and town during plough season. Edward was able to clear one of the fields in between the forest and home in hardly any time at all.

He pierced the walled surroundings of his house, passed through its small garden, pushed the front door open and then entered the kitchen.

Edward was far too late, peeking at his wrist sundial, seeing that it was after midnight. He was still catching a glimpse of the work-in-progress drainage of a blood bag, Bella had found his emergency stash. And now he felt the honour of his word shatter under the weight of his broken vow.

"Bella, honey what have you done?" Edward questioned shockingly.

Bella made no return with words. Instead a tail began to emerge from her rear. Hair became fur and grew, grew so that her skin was sheathed in warmth. Her size began to increase exponentially, her head was touching, and then breaking through, the roof.

Half of Bella's home was now falling to pieces from the force of Bella's growth on the structure. In a manner of seconds her size had reached that of a giant on steroids, she was more than thirty feet tall.

The vampiric home was now in ruin, oak upon pine caving in on top of more pine. Edward had made a saving throw, he dodged the stake shaped debris from the collapse of the building, and found himself head first on the ground in the garden.

"Rwraaaaaa," Oozaru Bella screamed, "Mussssssst killllllll."

Bella stormed out of the rubble of her home, galloping on two's towards the village adjacent to the forest, not caring of the mess she was leaving behind. The house that she had built with her husband was now decorated destructively.

"Oh, no, Bella come back, you'll destroy the whole village," Edward shouted, following her.

Bella was quite fast even in her gigantic, ape-like state. She had made it to the village and started destroying the larger buildings. Her hands made pillars pounce through windows. Her feet made hydrants bombard pedestrians.

As Edward arrived at the village now being reduced to wreck, he saw a young blonde woman come out of one of the smaller buildings on the outskirts.

The blonde ran toward the gigantic beast. "Joe! Joe! Stop that!" she shouted.

Edward moved close towards her, this woman was brave, but in a crazy way, Bella might just stomp on her, so he had to get her to safety. He sped towards the blonde female and pushed her to a much safer corner. Edward put his arms around the woman to restrain her.

"No, let me go, I'm the only one who can talk to Joe."

"That's not Joe, that's Bella," Edward proclaimed.

Edward studied the woman from toe to forehead, trying to discern how she was familiar to him. She was South African. 'Oh yes,' he thought, she won an Oscar. She's Jill Young of course.

"Joe, come back" Jill shouted again, though her voice was becoming hoarse.

Edward pulled her closer to him, extending his right arm along with an index, pointing to Bella's crotch area. "Look, there's no apehood."

"Okay then," she agreed, "Jo, Joanna, come back."

Edward sighed, maybe he'd start calling Bella 'Mighty Joanna Young' if she ever returned to some degree of normal.

Bella had gotten bored of elbowing buildings into pulp, she found new ways to entertain herself. Chiefly throwing cars, occupants held within, onto roofs. When she was done with that she ripped the roofs off and threw them onto buses. Finally after that she threw buses onto other buses. Again with occupants retained. Bella lifted her head up, facing the sky, and shot out a gigantic mass of flames from her mouth.

Blood was flowing like a river through the streets, and Oozaru Bella was then crouched down, licking the blood, trying to drink as much as possible. Still as a giant ape, she had the hunger, the blood lust.

Edward stood watching this disgraceful transgression and soon after he snapped. "I'm going to get something to cut her tail off," Edward said.

Jill gave Edward an incredulous look. "What? You can't!"

Edward shrugged as he turned his back away from the young woman, young compared to him at least, "Watch me."

Edward disappeared from the blood, flames and fur, across the field, sprinting for home. While still in a total state of disrepair, he managed to find his closet in the mangled wreck he once called home. Edward flung the door of the closet open and pulled out an ancient looking rifle with a small bayonet attached to it.

"Ha, ha, here it is, my old M1A1 carbine. This bayonet should be able to cut her tail off," Edward said. His eyes glittered at the sight of his ancient war relic, completely unfireable now, but still useful nonetheless.

He dashed back with even greater speed than with what he had come with, and positioned himself behind Oozaru Bella. She was still drinking blood from the street, now using the torn roof of a Volkswagen Beetle as a scoop to drink from. Edward was able to read trickles of thoughts coming out of the great ape's head, her mind defences having wained during the transformation. She was completely unaware of Edward's presence there. This was good, at least from his point of view.

Edward pulled his arm back, readying it for a swing, then with a great leap he sprang up from the ground, his aura burning through stale, death-laden air, and swung his rifle through Bella's tail. But the blade wasn't long enough, it only severed the tail half way through.

Oozaru Bella shrank several feet in size, but was still as ape-like as ever. Her eyelids began to swell. She began wailing, tears streaming down her face. The surrounding streets and pavements began to flood.

The surviving towns folk fled from the gush of water. Their screams distracting them from the ball of hydrogen appearing across the horizon. The sun was beginning to rise. Fast streams of red, green and blue particles mingled with Bella's fur, passing through to her skin. Her gigantic shape began to sparkle in the light.

The populace turned to face Bella. It was the most beautiful thing everyone had ever seen. Not just the view of sparkles coming from her, but also the reflections of the sparkles in the water. But then the intensity increased ten fold as the sun began to climb further. A violent storm passed through every eye of each witness, causing each to melt, leaving hemorhages in their place. Skin began to strip from bone.

The intensity of the sparkles increased even further until Bella went nuclear, transforming the towns people, herself and her husband into powdered ash and charred bone.

The buildings, people and trees were all gone. The rabbits, the birds and the bees were all gone. Though several roaches appeared from the shattered remains of Edward and Bella's residence, the blasted creatures always managing survival.


End file.
